Evolution of a Vision Board

This has been a pretty busy week! Today is the Thursday of the second week of our break. As it comes to a close, work thoughts are creeping in 😫 This week has gone by way too fast!

On Monday morning, I had a call with a practicing psychic, meaning she was practicing her skills on me for no charge. I thought she was pretty good. She said two people (spirits) showed up for me right away and described my grandma and grandpa.

They said a few things, nothing really noteable, but something my grandma said sat with me.

“She just wants you to know that you are loved.” is what the psychic told me.

Basic, I know, and general. But, here’s the thing.. not being liked is an issue I have within myself. I’m oftentimes gauging whether or not people like me. Now, I realize that them liking me, hating me or being indifferent has nothing to do with me. It’s irrelevant to my life and basically none of my business. So, when I get the feeling that someone doesn’t like me, I brush it off and tell myself that haters gonna hate, and he/she is just a miserable twat, etc.

But, what if it wasn’t? What if I could just assume that everyone likes me, unless they state otherwise. I don’t like judging people, and try not to, but isn’t this exactly what I’m doing?

Furthermore, why do I always get this feeling- is it because it’s really me that doesn’t like me? I think, or thought, that I liked myself just fine, but now I wonder considering the thoughts I have.

Coincidently, (as if I believe in coincidences 🤣😂), I started and finished my mandala that same day.

The ‘Mandala’ I’m referring to is pretty much a vision board. It’s an activity that correlates with the Lotus and the Lily soul program.

My thoughts before and while making it centered around this idea about being liked or not. I determined that in order to solve this, I just need to open my heart completely. Just like Michael Singer has been telling me for years via his book, The Untethered Soul.

So my the conditions for manifesting came onto my board as Love. I will do my best to give Love freely, receive Love freely, thank Love freely and to feel Love freely.

I think it’s absolutely perfect, totally fitting and will open doors that may be inconceivable at the current moment.

I added some other favorites onto my mandala, such as the H’oponopono prayer, and actions to take for an awesome and joyful life as well as the name of my year, River Lo Goes With the Flow.

My nickname is Lo & the name means to just go where life takes me, riding it downstream. Like Abraham Hicks says, “Nothing that you want is upstream.”

One of the areas I need to focus growing is to lessen my resistance to things, “going with the flow” you might say. To me, this looks like saying yes, whenever I can- even if it’s very last minute.

I knew that would go on my mandala for a few weeks now, and it coincidentally goes perfectly with opening up my heart ❤️

There are some material or tangible items that I planned on putting on my board, but it just didn’t fit in, and seemed completely unnecessary and frivolous.

It was exciting for me to look at the 3 boards I’ve made to compare.

My boards are pictured below, in chronological order:

Mandala, Fall 2019
Mandala, January 2021
Mandala, January 2023

The one is very basic. Rainforest vacation, long hair, fitness, healthy family, healthy marriage. I guess I was really aiming to be healthy 🤣🤣😂 And boy was I!!! I made this in the fall of 2019, and 2020 was maybe my healthiest year yet.

The best part of this mandala was the unintentional things that occurred (to read more about it, see link below)

I was trying to obtain more healthy habits, and feel that I succeeded- at least when it came to physical health.

By the time I did the Lotus book a second time, I was sharpening my spiritual health. I put ideas such as “Think, Believe, Imagine” for Manifesting and strengthening my intuition and psychic abilities. It’s broken down into 3 learning areas- Spiritual, Mental and Physical. It’s easy to see how these ideas are deeper than my first board.

Now there’s the 2023 mandala. It has no pictures, but the mandala itself is a picture. Most of the phrases would not make sense to most people- but it’s meaningful to me.

Magic is my word for 2023, but I don’t think that made it onto my board 🤦🏻‍♀️

I wonder what kind of magic this mandala will bring me.

I wonder what my next mandala will be like ♥️

Abraham Day

A great day indeed!!

Our hotel does not have a fridge or microwave (what the heck Hilton?), so I’ve really been having to eat out & ate some bad food (AKA dairy & gluten and on second thought the delicious chocolate muffins I had with my breakfast probably had eggs).

What else would you expect to see in the window of the location of a spiritual convention the morning of?

I was up early and wanted to be quiet for sleeping hubby, so I started my morning with wall (window 😭) sits, a full body reiki session (long overdue) and a medical medium meditation on fear. It felt good to just BE, it’s been quite awhile since I’ve done those kind of things.

The meditation on fear (it was about overcoming fear to cross the bridge to connect with the inner self) resonates with me big time. I listened to it Friday morning on my walk, but couldn’t close my eyes and do the visualizing while walking.

This time I did. As the bridge crumbled behind me & there was no turning back, I thought of my disease and healing journey. It was a direct parody and I could see it now so clearly. So many times I looked back, with fear, and then more fear when looking ahead into the unknown. This clarity gave me peace and trust, that my inner self is guiding me and I’m on the right path. (Meditation linked below).

I also had clarity this morning regarding a job interview I have on Monday. I found out about it on the way down and have been feeling all the feels since. Since gaining this clarity, I feel much more confident and calm about it, regardless of the outcome 🙏🏻

The Abraham workshop was long, but interesting. The only unusual thing to note was a ton of nervous energy I had going into it. My nerves eventually subsided, but I was and still am perplexed by how I felt. I think I expected to feel the exact opposite.

For a little summary, here’s what I posted in a Facebook group, responding to the question below:

For those of you that attended the Chicago workshop – what spoke to you the most?!

The man who declared his frustration w/the medical field resonated and while I thought my question would be answered through him- it caused me more confusion untiI I was able to sit with it for awhile. He was frustrated that they didn’t diagnose him- while I’ve been super frustrated at the diagnosis of an (I almost typed MY- it is not my disease- still need to get this belief out of my head!) autoimmune disease 8 years ago. Through life experience & research, I’ve learned that the diagnosis is based on symptoms alone and that they are symptoms that I can heal with diet. I’m mad that my rheumatologist doesn’t have this knowledge and that I bought into it. I guess after hearing that guy, I realize that diagnosis or no diagnosis IT DOESNT MATTER. I guess the diagnosis did give me lots and lots of things that I’m able to say is now in my vortex. Overall, I’m better off for it- and grateful where I’m at today. (I really loved the 13 yr old story- and love that she kept coming back to it – it was a good reminder to remember & honor our pure inner child – as well as to allow me to be better at allowing my own 13 year old son’s perspective)

After the workshop, hubby and I went back to our room and debriefed. While he isn’t nearly as much as a fan and believer like me, it was fun to discuss the stories, relate them to things in our life and talk about our perception of the validity of the ideas they spoke of.

A little bit later we went to a delicious Mexican restaurant for dinner. I had cheese and sour cream on my tostadas.

For most of the day yesterday, I didn’t feel much (if at all) worse physically from eating the things I’ve been trying hard to steer clear from.

By the time we got home, I could feel it. Most noticeable was the pain in my joints, especially my shoulders. I took Motrin before bed and woke up at 3:30 in agony. I couldn’t get comfortable and when I did it lasted for a minute before my shoulders would become stiff and cramp up again. I took M & T and then again when I woke up still sore at 7:30 (but I was able to sleep- such a blessing).

I’ve been off Enbrel for over 3 weeks now. I truly feel that being off it has helped me correlate my symptoms with food. My next goal is to not cheat on everything at once so I can see how each group affects me.

It’s now Sunday and we’re on our way home. I feel okay but am still taking pain meds every 4 hours 😬 to avoid massive soreness. I’m looking forward to being home and having eating be easy ☺️

Sadly, I’m out of celery and cilantro so I don’t think I’ll be able to cleanse tomorrow. I’m okay with just eating clean. I’m not sure if I told you already, but I’ve also gained clarity that the swelling in my hands and feet is not due to my RA but it’s classic edema due to the massive out-flux and shifting of toxins. My lymphatic system is on overload and I may want to slow things down. I’m at least going to start incorporating the liver detox cleanse into my routine- maybe doing two days of the heavy metal detox smoothie and then two days of the liver cleanse smoothie – or maybe by adding it as an afternoon pick-me-up- not sure yet, I still need to consult my self and body on the matter 🙏🏻🦋

Happy Sunday Funday everyone- I hope you are having loads of fun 🎉🎉🎉

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/003-brain-meditation-letting-go-of-fear/id1133835109?i=1000492358953

Universal Gifts

I finally got off the couch and went back to work.

And soon discovered that I have the best job in the world.

I came back to notes, presents and a special gift from an unlikely substitute teacher.

It was a great day back and I was just as excited to see the kiddos as they were to see me.

I had a routine checkup with my rheumatologist yesterday. I was pretty excited, because although my hand/wrist is still flaring, I was hopeful my bloodwork results would be better than before. After all, I’ve been eating a more balanced diet for a whole month now. They were pretty impressive before, and my hemoglobin (which is sometimes low and I sometimes need IV iron) has begun to rise on its own since last year.

She took one look at me, shook her head, pointed her finger and said I looked pale and would probably get a call in the morning that my bloodwork results are bad.

The next morning I got that call. Luckily, everything is decent except for my hemoglobin, which is 9.1- whereas it was over 11 just eight months ago.

I’m hoping it’s wrong, or maybe low because I’m still recovering from the flu. I have an appointment with my hematologist in about 10 days and will have it rechecked.

I’m hoping for a rebound and no IV infusions needed. If not, and I need iron, then fine. I’m sure I’ll be more energetic if that’s the case.

I’m just sort of disappointed in the whole thing. But it’s just like drinking alcohol, when I thought my health should be SO much better after abstaining for 30 days. In reality, it’s taken my body years to heal from the abuse, and it’s still healing. I imagine my diet/gut health is the same, and will take time. In the grand scheme of things, 30 days is nothing.

One more thing, because the universe always knows what we need.

This is in the beginning of the book Lindy left me. I can’t wait to read it- after all my death woes, I know I was meant to read this- Devine Intervention.

Be well everyone ❤