Yesterday turned out to be an amazing day- despite my slow & painful wakeup due to gluten, eggs and/or dairy consumption- I presume.
Yesterday, I took an hour long nap after lunch, and woke up very groggy. I wasn’t anticipating having energy like the day before, but.. I had chicory root coffee, then real coffee, then I cleaned out my dresser and closet and purged two big trash bags full of clothes.
I intended on moving my plants outside afterward, but it started pouring, like really hard like a monsoon, so that was not going to happen. We talked about dinner and gave the dinner choice to our youngest, who is currently our only child because the oldest is on his trip.
“I want to go to the Golden Corral!” He wanted that or Hungry Howies pizza. The Golden Corral, if you don’t know, is an all-you-can eat buffet, with a ton of food choices– but not the highest quality food. We looked it up and found out that the dining room was open- something that hasn’t been a thing since Covid.
I knew that my food choices there would be limited- and the food is kind of crappy- so I told them that they should go and have a little date. They called my hubby’s brother who was happy to tag along. I would have the house to myself and was ecstatic about it.
I had to restock my celery and cilantro, so having to run out anyway, I ordered a gluten free chicken dinner from an upscale Chinese bistro by my house. Feeling slightly jealous of the boys’ gluttony, I decided to get a couple junky but legal things for me to have for dessert while at the store.
So, I got home and couldn’t find a movie that looked great, so I turned on “Brittany Runs a Marathon” to watch for a third time.
Boy do I love that movie!
About 20 minutes in, as I was finishing my dinner, I decided that I should try a quick running workout (Brittany motivates me 😁) And I did! Before eating the cheezecake (I haven’t even opened the Heavenly Hunks yet, but will soon!), I put on my tennis shoes and headed downstairs to attempt to run for as long as I could, which I didn’t know if it would be 2 minutes, or 20 minutes. I haven’t ran in quite a while, especially lately with my feet so fickle and tender.
I wanted to run for 20 minutes straight, and I did! I was so excited, you have no idea. I have that half marathon in April and wondering if I’d be able to run at all beforehand, and wondering how the heck I would train for it. This gave me such great motivation and excitement for April!
Then I had cheezecake and finished the movie, it was a great night 😊😊
Now the celebrating….
One of the biggest hurdles in this whole thing is wondering/thinking/worrying about my family thinking I’m crazy and/or stupid for all of this. They went through months of me having to be a super picky eater, all while seemingly to be getting sicker and sicker.
I asked my hubby yesterday if he has noticed a difference. He said that he has noticed that I’m doing better, even from last week (I had been comparing to last month- but the more I thought about it- he’s right).
Here’s all of the things I’m celebrating:
Way less NSAIDs. Yesterday, a tough start, started with 4 Motrins and 2 Tylenols, then I took 2 more Motrins around 7pm right before dinner. My hands were getting painful and it was hard to do certain things, but the 2 Motrins helped perfectly. Most days recently I’ve had just two doses and sometimes only Motrin not both medications. This is the first time I tried two instead of four tablets, but now will be more confident to keep cutting down. A month ago I was having to take four maximum doses of both medications- this his huge!
No icing recently. For awhile I was having to ice my hands a lot to help with pain and swelling. This was especially helpful when they hurt but I wasn’t due for pain meds yet. Icing helps, but it’s even better that I haven’t needed it.
Not sure if this is related to the detox, but I had a small white bump below my eye for the past year or so. I thought I’d have to get it removed from the dermatologist and have been meaning to make an appointment. The other day I realized that it has disappeared. Heavy metal toxicity causes weird skin things, so it wouldn’t surprise me if this detox helped get rid of it.
Now for the best part.. something that I just realized after asking hubby if he notices the improvement.. I am now off all prescription medications! 👏👏👏 This is huge! 🎉🎉🎉Yesterday I missed my second injection of Enbrel, and plan to never look back. In fact, I never want to even mention it again.
I’m wondering, actually, if being off Enbrel is helping me gauge how food is affecting me. I can only imagine that it’s been masking some of my symptoms, so this is great.
Today, I will miss my nap. We went to watch my niece who is a Color Guard perform after lunch. I thought I’d take a quick nap afterwards, but something happened there that has me on edge.
We were there with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, when another couple who’s their friends came up to say hi and wait for the girls to get done. Their daughter is a close friend of my niece and they were both performing.
We were in bleachers and it’s like 90 degrees and super humid today. Out of nowhere, the man collapsed on the bleachers. My hubby, along with his wife and my BIL, helped to get him sitted. He said he was okay, but ended up passing out again. My SIL, called 911, but he woke up and insisted on walking out. My BIL walked in front of him down concrete stairs and I was terrified he was going to fall over again.
The paramedics were already there, so he couldn’t escape (I want to add that he is a super nice guy, but was just very embarrassed). They took his vitals and he went home, was seemingly okay. But, I’m still a little jumpy from it. I want to add that his guy looked perfectly fit and healthy- it’s crazy how he just went down out of nowhere.
I think missing my nap will be good today, I need to start phasing it out, or would like to try.
So now, I’m about to run to the grocery to get food and drinks for camping. Then hopefully I’ll get those darn plants moved- if not, it’s okay, I’ve done enough today lol.
Thank you for celebrating with me! I’m sometimes blown away when I think about it that I’m actually healing myself 🎉💖🌈
Last night for the first time in many days, I woke up from shoulder pain. My shoulders have been weak (and sore if I try to workout with dumbells), but I haven’t had the night pain in probably 1-2 weeks (which has been wonderful!).
I had a boxed meal that contained small amounts of dairy, gluten and egg last night, and so I suspect this is why. It’s like a chicken helper type meal, and my family really liked it last time I made it- so I just didn’t even think about the ingredients when I bought it. I ate some thinking that it was just a small amount, and even made myself alternative squash noodles to go with it to avoid the gluten in the noodles.
There was gluten and egg in the breading I used to coat the chicken and milk and whey in the alfredo sauce it came with. It was a good meal and I didn’t have energy to make myself an alternative meal, so I ate it thinking that it was just a small amount. I will not be eating any leftovers today.
I’m feeling really optimistic about where I’m headed- but these next few weeks have been weighing on my mind.
On Sunday, I leave for a camping trip with my youngest and some friends. We’ll be bringing and making all of our meals, so it should be easy for me to keep my diet compliant. I will not be able to do the cleansing protocol though, so after day 27 (Sunday), I’ll have to pause this cleanse until Wednesday, where I’ll pick up on day 28.
Two days later, hubby and I leave for Chicago. We will be eating out the whole time (we may get our room bumped up to include a kitchenette, but probably will still be eating out mostly- worse case is no kitchen, but we still should have a fridge for snacks/easy stuff). I don’t think it’ll be too hard to stick with the diet, hopefully, but I’ll again miss two days of the cleanse.
A week after that, we leave for a trip to the mountains. We rented a house, and I think I’m going to bring my juicer and blender, so I can try to keep up with the cleanse, at least on most or even some of the days.
So the next few weeks are going to be a little sketchy..
I guess that’s life. And I go back to work a few days after the mountain trip- so that’ll be a whole new ball game 🤔
I don’t know what I’ll do without my daily naps… my lunch break may need to include more sleeping than eating, idk… I guess I’ll take it one day at a time.
I’m optimistic at how well I’ve been feeling up until this morning/last night. That’s pretty darn good motivation to stay on course. After Tylenol and Motrin at 7am after waking up, I’m feeling much better. I probably should have just gotten up and taken something last night but was too stubborn. I took a slow two mile walk this morning, it took a lot of motivation to get out the door– my dog’s puppy eyes helped ❤
Yesterday I had Motrin twice and Tylenol once, that’s pretty good for me. Also, I received some supplements I had on order, so I started Lemon Balm, L-lysine and Cucurmin/Turmeric yesterday.
I’m not planning on having a super busy day today. I’m hoping to get some plants moved outside and maybe grocery shop for my trip on Sunday. It’s currently about 11 and I’m about half-way done with my smoothie. Then I’ll get moving.
It’s been a good day with more energy than usual, maybe because I slept in and didn’t workout- or maybe my body is less busy detoxing today, I’m not sure but I’ll take it!
Usually I have good energy up until lunch, then I crash. I’ll sleep like 30-60 minutes and wake up super groggy, and remain unenergetic up until bedtime. It’s frustrating because isn’t the point of a nap to re-energize? Today that actually happened, but again, maybe because I didn’t push myself so hard physically early in the day.
Since my “Change in Perspective” post, I’ve remained super optimistic. I recently joined some new groups on facebook made up of people on similar journeys and following Anthony William’s protocol. I’ve heard dozens of stories about people curing their RA, some who’ve had it for even longer than me.
I have no desire to identify as a person diagnosed with RA. While explaining this to people, I tell them that I’m healing myself to overcome some RA symptoms I have.
That’s what RA is, it’s a symptom- not a disease.
I keep thinking about the narrative when I was diagnosed over eight years ago.
“Your body is attacking itself. We don’t know why. It’s unkown. There’s no cure. You have to take medication or else your joints will become deformed. It’s progressive. Yes, you can die from the medication, but it’s your only option.”
Every single statement is utter bullshit. I know this sounds angry. I am not angry, I am incredibly relieved.
My body is not attacking itself. My body is defending itself, against a problem. I’m not positive what that problem is, but I have a pretty good idea– and with trial and error I will help my body defend itself, and rid myself of this problem, whether it’s an underlying virus, an imbalanced gut issue, heavy metal toxicity- or all of the above.
Eight years ago, I asked my rheumatologist if a change in diet would help my condition at all. “I’ve had some patients have success with cutting out sugar.” was her response.
What if she had suggested I look into an elimination diet? Even eight years ago, that was a fairly well-known way to improve symptoms. I know it because I researched and tried it, for a minute, and then my mom died suddenly and so did my drive to rid myself of the awful symptoms. I gave up. It would take all the way until this year to really put my heart and soul into it. It’s my fault- but I would have maybe been driven harder with support and confidence from the specialist who I considered the expert.
Up until recently, even doing the elimination diet, I thought of my symptoms as my body attacking itself. It was just after writing that post that my perspective is not that my body is attacking itself- but that it’s attacking a problem. A problem that I would have no idea how to address– if it weren’t for my own research and holistic and functional doctors.
This minor change in how I view my body and its symptoms is huge! And I think largely the reason why I’ve been so optimistic, even in severe pain.
I know that this healing will take time, lots of it. I thought that cutting out certain foods would bring me immediate relief, but I understand now that I need to undo years of illness, and I will. My body is f’in awesome and I’m now present to help it- not suppress it!
This is a huge fuck you to Western medicine. STOP telling your patients lies. I spent eight years as Miss. Diagnosed, and that was eight years too long! It’s time for the medical world to catch up with the truth of what’s going on. The sad truth is that funding is provided by the very companies that want to keep feeding us lies- like our body is at fault and they don’t know why.
And thank you body, for the good fight. Now that I’ve joined your side, we’ll fight this battle and together we will feel good again ❤
Woke up with really sore feet (4/5), and I hobbled around for a little while until the med kicked in. Took Motrin & Tylenol at 6am, right after getting up.
Despite painful feet, I took a 3.3 mile walk 🎉 and then did a 30 min Peloton workout on the bike. Counting both workouts, I did over 10 miles 🎉 It may have taken me almost 2 hours, but I was proud that I got it done.
I grounded outside and then took some returns back at the Amazon drop off place.
Now I’m ready for a nap, lol. My feet are starting to hurt quite a bit again and I’m debating on when and what pain meds to take. They’re really fine if I don’t walk on them, so I’ll probably wait till I wake up from my nap.
I think I know why they’re extra bad today. I had a late dinner at Wendy’s and had fries, baked potato and chili. Then I ate too many brownies (gluten and dairy free but high fat) before bed and ended up going to bed abruptly with a bad stomach ache. I’m sure eating all that crap contributed! I’ve been drinking caffeine too, about 3 cups yesterday and the day before. I’m going to try to do better- especially with the junk food.
My family is going to a movie at 8:30 tonight- so I’ll probably drink coffee beforehand so I can stay awake- maybe even take a cup inside 🤷🏼♀️
I have to drop my kiddo off at the airport tomorrow and am not looking forward to him leaving. He’s never been so far for so long, unless with immediate family, and I’m struggling with this. He is 19 for crying out loud! 🤦🏻♀️. He is diabetic though, and will always be my baby and while I’m not so much worried about him- I’m just mainly going to miss him so much.
******* Ok- naptime is over. I took 4 Motrin because, well, ouch. I slept for about an hour and then a few more minutes so hopefully I can stay awake during the movie tonight. Currently drinking chicory root slow roast, but going to turn it over to some caffeine later.
That’s about all for day 23.. no news is good news I guess 👌
Up until a few days ago, I was on several supplements from that nutritionist I was working with when I went on the AIP diet. This included an adrenal complex, Vitamin C, Zinc, Vitamin E, Hydrochloric Acid, Vitamin K, Collagen and a few others. My supply has dwindled down and as I ran out I stopped taking them this past month. A few days ago, I was still on everything listed above.
I had some time the other day to read more of Anthony William’s book, “Cleanse to Heal.” In it, he says to stop all the supplements that he doesn’t recommend because it can work against the cleanse, even collagen (which I just always thought was so good for gut health).
I figured if I’m going to do this, I might as well put in 100% faith and effort- so I stopped many of them. Also, I didn’t take my Enbrel injection when it was due three days ago. I plan to be done with it forever 🎉🎉
There’s good and bad to his supplement list..
The bad is that his list for people with RA symptoms is 20 supplements long, lol. This doesn’t include the barley grass, spirulina, or dolce, but I take them everyday in my smoothie, so I have them covered.
The good is that as far as the supplements go (not included in the cleanse), he says they’re optional. He says they’re wonderful, and enhance the process and heal you quicker, but you can heal without them.
Furthermore, he gives suggestions as to what few to start with and then a few others to slowly work in. But it’s very doable.
I ordered a few off Amazon, but they won’t be here until next week.
So, currently besides the lemon water, celery juice and smoothie, the only things I’m on is: Vitamin C, Zinc, Cat’s Claw, Vitamin D, Vitamin B12.. and I think that’s it. This is way more manageable and feels more natural. I have Lemon Balm, L Lysine, Curcumin and Turmeric that’ll be here next week.
I feel really good mentally about this regime, and think that’s very important!
I thought this was important to note, but I’ve been so rushed the past couple of posts, I haven’t had time.
Also, I mentioned the other day, that I didn’t feel “right,” didn’t want to go outside and had a general feeling of gloominess and might want to go back on Wellbutrin if it got worse or continued. Well, I started my period a couple days later. This makes so much sense! I usually have a day or two that I’m pretty grumpy and chalk it up to hormones. I didn’t even put the two together- and to be honest, it was more mild than my usual PMS so I’m pretty excited about that! I also thought it was important to note the start of my period (yesterday) in case there are any correlations with how my symptoms are doing.
My inflammation was probably a little higher this morning than it has been at wake up. I took Tylenol and Motrin when I woke up, but mainly because I wanted to take the cat’s claw and other vitamins with some sugar, not on an empty stomach- not because I couldn’t stand the pain. But both feet were pretty achy and I’m glad I took them because they hurt in the beginning of my walk but feel much better now that I’m at home and medication has kicked in. I’m still celebrating taking half the NSAIDS I was taking a month or two ago!
One thing, that I think I need to start working on, is night eating. This habit was fueled by my intermittent fasting journey. I loved it because I literally binged on chocolate like every night and still lost weight. It wasn’t even cleaner chocolate, it was candy straight from the Hershey factory.
Since I’ve been following the AIP diet, and now that I’m trying to be religiously gluten and dairy free, I’m only eating cleaner snacks at night. I’ve even been pretty good about not eating cane sugar for the most part, but am still eating foods with cacao, and sometimes sweeteners with coconut sugar or something similar. I also eat crunchy snacks like Paleo Puffs, or sweet potato or plantain chips.
I was reading a general article about inflammation and how to decrease it and it was suggested to not eat after 9:00pm (I think so that the body doesn’t have to work so hard at digestion while you’re sleeping, it makes sense). I’m guilty of eating up until I go to bed.
I’m going to try to tone it down tonight and see if it makes a difference. I feel like my snacks last night were more unhealthy than normal, and wonder if that’s why I felt a little worse today.
I still feel optimistic and this all feels manageable. I can see how a year or two ago, it was not. My habits were so unhealthy and it’s just about impossible (at least for me) to change everything at once. Now it feels like I’ve got this brick wall, but it’s not huge, it used to be huge, but it’s dwindling. I’m chipping away at it, and making huge progress and one day it’s going to come tumbling down.
Well, it’s still morning now. I’m just about finished with my nasty celery juice and celebrating that I’m finally done with all the celery I bought from Meijer. It was all organic and it all tasted so bitter. I will never buy celery there again- yuck! I’ll try to stay away from all their produce. My smoothie is pre-made from yesterday, so I’m done with all the cleanse work for today (hooray!).
Today is going to be a great day. I’m taking my boys out to lunch and then we’re going to get groceries. My oldest has this whole month off but just booked tickets to visit a friend in Pennsylvania for 10 days and he leaves on Thursday 😢 I’m sad about that but going to try to hang with him as much as I can this week, plus we have a vacation in the mountains in a few weeks to look forward to. Other than gathering nutritious food for delicious meals, I’m planning on having a low key, hopefully spiritual afternoon and evening.
Feeling generally sore all over, I took Motrin & Tylenol before bed last night. I hadn’t been taking it at night, but it was necessary. I’m still trying to peg the ‘fine’ line of not needing it vs. if I don’t take it the pain gets out of control. I’m getting better at this and feel like my body and mind are more in sync lately.
I woke up feeling pretty good in the hands (2) and about a 2 in my left foot.
I took cats claw and then did a 30 minute peloton workout. The only reason is that a girl in my group had her 600th ride so she was looking for people to join her. The time worked out good, it was taught by my favorite instructor and was an 80’s ride- which is a type of music that I like. Otherwise I would have not done a morning ride, and would have just walked. This is what I really love about peloton- you get to work out in the comfort of your own home but still get the community or gym feel.
Then I took a slow walk for about an hour. I was happy that by the end my foot felt the same- maybe even a little better than when I woke up. I covered over nine miles with both workouts 🎉
I did my cleanse when I got home and did end up taking Tylenol & Motrin around 11:00. I was starting to feel sore in more places and had my niece’s graduation party all day long.
I didn’t want to be tempted, so I went to the party loaded with ‘safe’ food.
Now it’s after 9:00 and we are on our way home. No pain meds again, but I’m feeling my shoulder and arms getting achy. I may or may not take them before bed.
This is such a difference from the last family party at the beach a few weeks ago. Last time I skipped my morning pain meds and was sore for most of the day. I probably complained a lot to family that day, and I can’t tell you how good it felt today to tell those same family members how well I was doing now whenever they asked.
So yay!! I’m counting on another great day tomorrow 💖
This morning when I woke up to use the bathroom, I noticed my foot was inflamed.
My first thought was, things are moving, my body is healing, yay body, you’ve got this!
This is huge 🤗
So many negative thoughts and patterns that did not happen..
I didn’t get worried.
I didn’t feel mad, or even sad.
I didn’t reach over and take the NSAIDS on my nightstand.
I was grateful, and thanking my body- and it was automatic – which is the best part.
I have no idea what time it was (around the 3:00 hour, I imagine), but was able to get back to sleep- without stressing about taking meds (my hands were sore but not awful, and by foot felt fine if I didn’t walk on it).
I slept well until about 5:30 or 6:00, then got up. I think my foot would have been okay to walk on (sometimes it gets better as I use it), but thought it was a good opportunity to skip my morning walk and instead take my dog to daycare. He’s boarding there next month, and hasn’t been there at all since school let out, so it was good for him to go for a short day. I intend on doing a indoor bike workout today.
I fed the pets before taking him, and held off on NSAIDs- only taking Cat’s Claw for inflammation.
I came home and did my lemon water, then celery juice and finally made a double batch of the smoothie so I get another easy day tomorrow 🎉
It was a little tough driving and then managing my excited doggo at the center with how sore my hands were. Additionally, when I got home I was having extra trouble with opening doors and my oranges for the smoothie (I had to get my 13 year old- the only other person awake to help me with peeling the oranges 😊). So by 8:00 or so, I took Motrin and Tylenol- even though I really didn’t want to.
It’s been a very nurturing day. I had a delicious lunch with spinach, sprouts, a baked potato and honey mustard dressing all mixed together and raspberries on the side.
After lunch, I took a good nap. While eating lunch, hubby asked if I had any plans. “A nap.” was my response. I felt lazy and irresponsible-and he must’ve seen it in my face because he immediately followed it with, “Not that you need to do anything, I was just wondering.”
It was said in a kind and compassionate way, and I really really really just appreciate him during this time. I’m not sure that I could be that patient if my spouse was laying around all the time. He’s a good one 💕😍
I took about a 40 minute nap after lunch and kind of sore all over when I woke up, so I made some “anti-inflammatory” tea. I saved this recipe awhile back, but this is my first time making it. It’s okay tasting, not sweet but a lot spicy.
That’s it for now. It’s Friday, and I’m hoping to at least ground outside again today. I wanted to float in the pool, but it’s just not that hot, and not so fun to get in and out when you’re sore. I did some yoga and reiki while grounding yesterday and intend on doing the same today. I’ve been wanting to paint (canvas with acrylics) all week, but haven’t had the drive to get out everything yet. I would like to paint later, but we’ll see.
I’m a million percent okay with staying on the couch, if that’s what my body wants. I can always do reiki and visualizing from here 😉
I need to also make time to meditate! It’s been awhile, and it’s so important for my peace of mind, and ultimately my healing.
It’s been a long day where I’m struggling a bit with (mild) depression. I’m going to have to keep tabs on this, and may need to add back my Wellbutrin. I thought today would be a great day to float in the pool for a bit- it’s hot today for the first time all week. However, when I had planned on going out this afternoon- after getting some stuff done- I had zero motivation to step foot outside.
I did start the day with an hour walk- which was nice. Also, I had a success yesterday and only took Motrin and Tylenol twice. I didn’t take any before bed, because my pain was pretty mild. I was surprised at the amount of anxiety I had regarding skipping this dose- as I knew it might make for a tough wake-up in the middle of the night. I was smart though, and brought the meds to my nightstand in a little dish with a cup of water, just in case, and even included Benadryl in case I needed help sleeping if the pain was that bad when I woke up.
I woke up around 3:00 to go to the bathroom, and was sore but didn’t think it was bad enough to need the meds. I tossed and turned a little bit not being able to stop thinking about taking them. I woke up for good around 5:00 and took them shortly after. The pain wasn’t awful, but bad enough that I didn’t consider not taking them (it was around a 4).
The pain has been pretty mild today. It crept up to about a 4 around 2:00, so I took 2 Naproxen. It’s now around 5:00 and I may or may not need Tylenol and Motrin before bed-hopefully not!
I feel like it’s a bit of a balance act, and I need to try to wean my body off- even if I have to go through some pain. I’m hoping that the increase in Cat’s Claw will help with the inflammation more too. I’ve been icing my hands a lot- which really help with the pain and swelling.
I’m due for my Enbrel tomorrow, which is weekly. Every week I go back and forth as to whether or not I’m going to stop it. I didn’t last week because I didn’t want to feel any worse than usual while camping. I don’t think it’s doing a whole lot anyway, so it’s probably time. I’m just worried I’ll get worse, but really need to ditch the fear.
I watched a really good documentary on Amazon yesterday called Heal. One thing that was heavily emphasized was the importance of believing in your body’s ability to heal. I thought about my post about Prednisone the other day and how I said I’d give myself until August and then maybe go on it if I’m still bad. Maybe entertaining this thought at all is working against me. I realized that I should talk to my body as if it’s in the process of healing and only going to get better from here, well because it is. I need to believe this, 100%.
I listened to a couple great podcasts this morning from the Medical Medium. One was about the Epstein Barr Virus (feeds on heavy metals, causes arthritis) which I believe I have. The other one was about rheumatoid arthritis and psoriatic arthritis (which I have both) and how the virus feeding on copper causes PsA symptoms while the virus feeding on mercury causes RA symptoms. Both had a huge amount of relevant information and confirmed that I am doing so many things to #1 detox from heavy metals, and #2 stop eating foods that feed the virus. I have to admit that when he got to the food part and what you must cut out, I got really nervous. I’m so tired of playing around with my diet and new restrictions. I was very relieved to learn that I’m not eating any of the forbidden foods (dairy, eggs, gluten, pork- I was loose with gluten, but have been more strict the past few days- which could be why my pain has been more mild). I’m also doing much of the spiritual things to help (decreasing stress, not hanging onto anger, also incorporating tapping, grounding, Reiki and visualization).
There is no reason to not be 100% hopeful that my body is healing!
I did have a bit of a rough day with my oldest kiddo, who is 19. I woke up to a mostly gone bag of tortilla chips on the couch and steaks from last night left out. He looked at me like I was crazy when I reprimanded him (steaks were packed up- he did put them away but pulled them back out later to get something, and left them out, so he was confused..). I hated to yell at him first thing and right before he left for work, but I was so irritated.
Then he comes home for lunch. I had gone to the grocery store and had a few things that I hadn’t put away yet, one being a jar of salsa. He took it upon himself to open the new jar when we had one that was already opened in the fridge. I hate it when my family opens a new bottle when we already have an opened one. Fridge space is sacred man!
I was super crabby by now and got all over him. I hate being like that but couldn’t help feeling the anger. I was outside attempting to ground myself in bare feet when he went back to work- so twice he left during unresolved friction- it just felt awful.
Then, as I’m writing this post, he sends me a message. “I’m high and forgot my bag.” He’s diabetic! Well, I guess the grounding helped my attitude and anger, because I wanted to ignore the message, and did for a couple minutes before deciding that I had to take responsibility.
I wasn’t angry, and as he came out and grabbed it from me and said thank you, I just said, “I’m sorry you have to deal with this.” Meaning diabetes and bringing that damn bag everywhere. I think I was extra sensitive about it because when he first came home for lunch, I was on the couch, and he said something about the summer being great and easy. I said something to the effect of, I’m healing myself and I’m feeling awful, and missing the whole summer and don’t even want to go outside because the yard is a mess and I can’t really use my hands to do much of anything!
I thought about this as I brought him his bag and started to cry. If only he could heal himself- he will have to live with this forever, and it’s simply unfair.
I hope I’m less cranky tomorrow- and have the desire to be outside for a long time ❤
I started my day with slow walk- we walked about 2.3 miles in about an hour. It felt good to get out there and I even came across one deer going through the short path in the woods. It’s always a good morning when I find myself in the woods with those big mammals.
I made a double batch of smoothie so I’ll have an easy morning tomorrow (yay!). I realized as I drank it this morning, that I actually like it now, and that is awesome! My taste buds are really changing.
I had enough energy to go to Sam’s Club for some groceries, so that was a feat! Afterwards, I cleaned up a bit and then took a 30 minute nap.
I’ve been eating pretty good, with no dairy or gluten (that I know of) and no coffee.
I’ve taken two doses of Motrin and Tylenol today, and will probably take a 3rd before bed. My hands seem a little better today and I noticed that opening the canned cat food was easier this morning and also this evening. Usually it’s a little hard for me, but I did it fast and smooth today- so yay!!
So that’s it- all in all it was a good day. And that’s a wrap! ❤