Even though it’s currently sort of messy, life is pretty wonderful at the moment.
Today is the day of my 1/2 marathon- Carpe Diem- Seize the Day- at my favorite local woodsy park. Sadly, I will not be participating. It’s okay.
I reached out to a plant based coach about 6-7 weeks ago for a consultation. His name is Hench Herbivore, he’s extremely muscular and is sort of like a gentle giant. His wife is super nice, and has spent the last decade or so healing her autoimmune disease.
During our conversation, way back then, the subject of this half marathon came up. I talked about how important it was for me to start training for it- I just wanted to accomplish it- I didn’t care what my time was.
He didn’t necessarily tell me to forget about it- but as we talked about it, and he admitted that he wouldn’t be able to train for a half in that amount of time, I realized days after our conversation that I best forget about it. If it wasn’t going to happen for me, I wasn’t gonna stress about it.
The emails for it started last week, and that was a little sad. I thought about signing up to volunteer- or to see if I could do the 10k or 5k instead- but didn’t care that much, plus I thought it might be kind of sad to be there and not doing the half- something that’s been on my bucket list for awhile now.
Milo is still MIA. I’ve walked through the neighborhood calling him, but he’s just vanished. We are so confused and don’t know what to think. He was gone for almost a full four months before, so we can’t and won’t give up hope– probably ever. Then again, last time he was a healthy four year old cat. Now he has this horrible breathing/nasal condition, and is 13 and I fear the worst.
I decided to buy a cat statue. I’m going to have a sign made that says “Milo’s Beacon” and decorate it with small solar lights, and possibly a plant or a bush nearby. I’m envisioning a beautiful tribute/memorial, and it’ll always remind us of the hope we had, both the first time he went missing and now. If he makes it home, then it’ll be even more perfect. We’ll laugh and tell him to look for his light if he ever gets lost again.
I looked at a ton of cat statues/garden decorations last night. I settled on this one because he looks so incredibly peaceful. Also, he’s 12 inches high which is bigger than some of the other ones I liked. I didn’t want a 7 inch statue.
I haven’t told my family- or asked for input. I didn’t want their input. Maybe it’s selfish, but I wanted to do the whole thing and have it be a surprise. Admittingly, I was worried they’d scoff at it or not like the same ideas as me. I’m totally confident they’ll love it when it’s all done though- that’s how things work around here, I don’t know why!
Work has been interesting. Last week was annoying- they’ve all kind of been lately- but it’s helping me see my growth.
I just got a new student so I’m working with a new teacher, and she has a bad reputation for being hard to work with and hard to schedule time for the kid we share.
I had a lovely conversation with her on Monday and was pleasantly surprised. However, I wasn’t at all surprised later that day when I was talking about the new kid and my schedule to someone else and learned that she had been complaining to them.
Let me tell you that if this was just a year or two ago, I would have been livid! It would have offended me most that she wasn’t upfront with me, didn’t feel comfortable enough to be honest and then shit talked behind my back.
I felt none of that.
First of all, it wasn’t at all surprising to me- I had expected it.
Secondly, it actually made me feel very happy.
One of the first things to pop into my head when I heard that is, Good, save the bitching and moaning for someone else! I didn’t have any desire to hear it.
It’s easy, I guess, for me to not take this situation personally. I recognize that really it has nothing to do with me. Plus, this teacher knows how incredibly messy my schedule is right now and that my hands are tied. I’m sure she was just venting, and probably not directed at me necessarily.
I never would have seen the big picture before! I would have been offended, period. And probably mad at her for the rest of the year. I don’t have any feelings of animosity towards her, and will remain very grateful if she saves her smiles for me and vents to others.
This is such great growth, and such a game changer in life- the feeling of freedom when we’re not consumed with other’s emotions or butt-hurt feelings is incredible, actually.
Also, I’m not sure if I’ve written about this yet, but I’ve been having success setting intentions for each day. I found a formula that I love, especially for work days. Everyday, I strive to #1 Make positive connections (with adults or children) #2 Have fun! #3 Be productive
This isn’t the end all be all.
I was having a particularly rough day this week, so my intentions for that day were just #’s 1 & 2. I wasn’t going to worry about being productive that day- and thought the other things were more important. It feels good because it feels like I have some control- and I guess I do. Not with what happens to me, but what happens within me when that happens. That day ended up being a good day by the way!
One great thing is that we have several days coming up in the high 60’s/low 70’s.
Will this be the week I begin to ride my bike to work?? I just can’t wait!!!
Speaking of good work stuff, we had spring conferences this week. I only met with 3 out of 8 parents, but all three went great. Even my most difficult parent- who was so angry and mean in the fall.
Her fall conference with me was okay, but a little awkward and she was not warm and fuzzy. It was a virtual meeting- which I find more difficult.
This meeting was in person. I had prepared a little extra for her and she was very pleased. It was a good conference and I felt so happy to finally be building positive and trusting relationships with these parents. It was hard in the fall too, because I didn’t truly know her child well- and she knew that. This time that was different too.
Another parent told me something that touched me. Her son is in 2nd grade and is significantly impacted by his autism. He isn’t very verbal and does more repeating than answering questions.
She told me and his other teacher that she has him pray for three things every night. The previous night, he had prayed for School, his Gen ed teacher, and me. And now I’m crying as I write that. We really don’t understand how much of an impact we have on children- regardless of the role we play.
Every day I get my 2nd grade student with CP off the bus and help him to his classroom.
This week we were walking by two kindergarten twin girls. One asked me why I hold his hand and walk him in.
I thought for a minute before responding. It’s really important for my kids to keep their dignity, and I didn’t want to embarrass this child.
I said something about my job being to keep everyone safe, and away from the cars, and that I really like to hold hands. I then extended an invitation to the twins to hold my other hand if they wish.
The twin who asked shook her head, and was like, “Nope, I’m okay!” Her sister, however, darted to my other side to take the opportunity to grab my free hand.
I can’t tell you how utterly cute it was, and it was another reminder that even with all of the BS, I have one of the best jobs in the Universe.
I exclaimed how lucky I was to have two hands to hold that morning 💖
The Devil Drinks Vodka 