Life has been crazy since the beginning of last week. Not only did I start the new job, but I’ve been dealing with a new called edema.
It’s in my legs and it’s awful. They’re so big and swollen that I can’t wear most of my pants and have to mostly wear athletic shoes- the one pair I have that’s room and cushy enough not to hurt.
I’m so tired of being in pain! Not to complain, but it’s really been getting me down. On top of the stupid pain, I’m trying to not look like I’m 100 years old at my new job. I’m tired of feeling old, slow and big, tired of my feet hurting whenever I walk and being afraid every morning of how well, or unwell I can move.
Luckily, I’ve been able to keep it hidden (I think) at work. I’m sure people notice me walking funny, or getting up or down slow- but also doubt that anyone thinks much about it.
I also miss my old school, and students, alot. It’s been making me feel down this week! The kids at my new school have severe disabilities and I’m struggling with finding the appropriate activities and also connecting with them- something that’s always come super easy to me (connecting with kids).
The good news is that my caseload is relatively super low (like under 10, unheard of for a resource room teacher), and the special education team at the new school is amazing, and has been so helpful to me.
I think much of the sadness is because of this tough medical stuff I’m going through- but also mourning the changes in my job.
Spiritually, I believe I’m supposed to be here learning and maybe teaching someone something.. I knew this might be difficult and anticipated changes, and think that once I get into a routine and know my kids better, I’ll feel a lot better.
I do like the short commute! Although, the longest road I drive on is one mile. By the end of the first week, I was actually thinking on the way home that this is the longest one mile road I’ve ever driven! It took less than a week to become that spoiled, lol.
I left for work this morning feeling better than I have since last week. I’m wearing a new pair of pants I bought at a hippy store in Tennessee and came to work in sandals. For the first time in a few weeks, I felt almost cute! I did LOTS of walking during the morning, so I had to switch to my athletic shoes by lunch, but might put my sandals back on in a bit. My weight is two pounds down from being over ten pounds up, so I’m hoping the edema is improving.
That’s about it for an update. No cleansing or smoothies for a couple weeks- and my diet hasn’t been that clean. I’m working on it- and I’ll get there- eventually. I at least need to eliminate dairy/gluten/eggs- which I’m mostly doing- so I just need to bite the bullet and be strict.